Where do we find our identity?

Here's a thought:

We develop our identities from our interaction with the rest of the world. What our families, friends and others say to us and about us helps form our opinion of who we are. Add to that all of the self-talk we have inside and we have most of the data we use to form our self concept. Here's the catch: If you form your identity based on the feedback of a fallen world, you will end up with a fallen identity.

It is when we decide to choose to draw our self concept from what God says about us that we enter into our true identity.

Religion versus Relationship

"Jimmy" is a model Christian. He's about as perfect as they come. His behavior is moral and kind. He attends church every week, leads a mid-week Bible study and teaches a Sunday school class. In addition, he has regular, daily devotions and is frequently reading Christian books.

Everyone speaks well of Jimmy. Everyone, that is, but God.

Jimmy's problem is not that he is doing anything wrong. In fact, he is doing things very well. The problem is a question of motive. You see, there are two ways we can approach God. The most common way is through religion. In religion, we attempt by our behavior to seek God's favor or blessing in our lives. The religious person, whether Hindu or Christian or Muslim, does what their religion requires out of a place of emptiness. They need God's blessing, so they do whatever their particular faith says is necessary to experience God's favor.

The Christian faith is the only faith that offers an alternative to religion - relationship. In relationship, we already know that we are fully accepted and loved by God. As a result, our behavior is no longer an attempt to earn His favor, but the response of a heart that knows it is truly loved.

Sadly, most Christians have never had a deep experience of the love of the Father, let alone an on-going sense of His favor. As a result, whether we realize it or not, we become like Jimmy and start living out of religion instead of relationship. That is because when we are empty inside, we will make getting our emptiness filled the motive for what we do, whether we realize it or not. Our outward behavior may be wonderful, but it is a form of manipulation, not adoration.

It is only when we are filled with the love of the Father that we are able to live unselfishly, because it is only then that we have no need we are desperate to meet. We are free to love others and serve God with no ulterior motive. Our life is now a response to being loved, not a desperate attempt to get love.

That is the true Christian - the one who lives their life as an outflow of a love relationship with God. Other followers of Jesus may indeed be born again, but they have not entered into the abundant life that God offers each one of us.

So how do we enter into this abundant life? It is not necessarily easy or quick. For me, it took several years of unlearning my performance-based Christianity and learning to make seeking God my top priority. When He became more important than all of my other Christian activities, then things began to change. Still, I needed a lot of emotional healing to be able to receive the love that God had for me.

The result is that much of the time I walk in an awareness that I am incredibly loved by the Father. That awareness changes the entire way I think about life, myself and other people. What matters most is simply loving God back and worshipping Him. Ambition, pride, selfishness are all crucified by the power of love.

A Loving God & Suffering World

Christians throughout the centuries have wrestled with this topic. Why does God allow suffering? Why doesn't He intervene in horrible situations?

I am not going to attempt to answer this question. But I do want to make a few observations:

1. One problem in finding an answer is that intellectual answers are often not effective in dealing with emotional hurts. I may have a great theology on God & Suffering, but it may still do me little good when tragedy strikes.

2. Sometimes, when we question God, it is not in order to learn, but to accuse. If God were to answer us in those times, He would, in effect, be making Himself accountable to us. It is a dangerous place as a creature to be able to sit in judgement of the creator.

3. Perhaps God is silent when we ask this question because He knows that what we need is comfort, not solutions. I remember as an Air Force chaplain having people ask me in the midst of a tragedy, "Why did God let this happen?' My usual answer was, "This is miserable, isn't it?" Most of the time, people did not ask for a better explanation. What they really were doing was expressing their pain in a theological question and they really didn't need a theological answer.

4. I have found that as I grew deeper in the love of God, the importance of questioning what happens becomes less and less. I am more content to accept what I don't understand because I know the love of the Father for me. So, even when what is happening makes no sense, I can trust in Him and not my understanding of things (Prov 3:5-6). So, the questions remain, but they no longer nag at me because they are no longer that important. In the midst of struggle, instead of fighting God to understand, I can bathe in His love and find comfort instead.